It's been a month!

Yay, it has now been just over a month since we got Ashley. She is adjusting fairly well, though of course still has moments of sadness, or asking about her daddy. We have been very busy though, so it generally passes very quickly.

Last Sunday after church we went out to our friends Mike and Cheryl. Ashley was in hog heaven, she loves animals and kept calling their place a farm. She got to see the horses and pet the dogs, she just loved following those dogs around, throwing the ball for them and petting and hugging them when she could. It was nice for Bug to get to spend a day playing with his buddy E, we have all been so busy that they haven't seen each other since Bug's bday party. We headed home at around 7 and I figured out about half way home that I had forgot my cell phone.

So when I got home, I called Mike to have him look around for it, unfortunately, I must have lost it when I was out riding the dirt bike, so I had to call the insurance company and have them send me a new one, which they took till Wed to do. In the mean time I felt like half my brain was missing.

On Tue I hosted a Fall Fest party for my MOMS club, it seemed to go well, I am always worried we won't have enough, so I ended up over buying and having plenty left over for the next event. Ashley didn't get to go because she has her visits with her dad on those days, but Bug had a great time, we put him in charge of face painting and tattoos, which he had a blast with. His pumpkins looked more like apples, but they were cute apples and his hearts looked really nice.

On Wednesdays, Bug goes to school and Ashley goes to daycare, so I got a few things done around the house in between clients. Then Thursday, Bug and I hung out, we went to the library and then down to the local children's museum to meet up with some of his friends. Then I took him and dropped him off with grandma and they went out on a date to have dinner and see the play Pirates of Penzance. I then picked up Ashley from daycare and gave her some apples to eat when we got home, (she had already had dinner at the daycare), while I made myself some dinner. All of a sudden I noticed it was really quiet and I looked over and there she was asleep in her chair at the table with an apple still in her hand. I took her and got her ready for bed and the 1st thing she said when she woke up was "I want my apples." Such an appetite on that one, she would eat us out of house and home if left to it.

On Friday we went with Bug's school for a field trip to an Alpaca farm. Unfortunately it was raining cats and dogs, but the kids still had a good time, especially Ashley, since she loves animals so much. Bug asked some really good questions and we got to see two babies that had just been born that morning. It was amazing how active they already were. The kids got some really nice coloring books that they worked in on the way to take Ashley to daycare, then I dropped off Bug at home with grandma and headed to work. After work since Bug's football practice was canceled due to rain, we decided to go to his Cub scouts Halloween Carnival, so I got the kids all dressed packed up treats and Bug's pumpkin for the carving contest and drove on over to the school, to see that everything was dark, so I called the main gal to see what was up and found out from her husband that it had been canceled, boy did those 2 cry, they were both so bummed. So we ran home to see if anything else was going on but by this time it was after 7,so the only things going on were for older kids. So I ended up just putting them both to bed early.

This morning Bug had his last football game of the season, the whole team played really well and had some very nice offensive plays including one completed pass, that was run in for a touch down. Bug has made huge improvements this season and did a good job of paying attention today up until about the last 10 minutes. He even ran the ball 2 times and got a 1st down both times. Way to go.

After the game we went to TRU to look around and they had an event where the kids could build their own Lego cars and race them. They both though that was really cool. Then we went to Michael's to get some pumpkins to decorate and then to Ross to get some snow boots for Bug. We had planned to go to Border's Spooktacular celebration, but they don't have a location out in the valley where we were. So we grabbed some lunch and killed some time until the Trick or Trunk that I had read about and then we went to that. It was a very nice event with probably 20 cars or so and then you got to go inside for donuts and cider after you were done. The kids had a good time and I got some really cute pics of them in their costumes. Bug was Simba and Ashley was Piglet. Ashley was so funny, the kids were allowed to take two candies at each trunk and so she would grad one and every time I would tell her to grab another one, she would put back the 1st and grab a different one. I generally had to grab at least one of her candies each time. She did a fabulous job of saying thank you though each time which is something we have been REALLY working on with her.

3 weeks with Ashley

Ashley seems to be adjusting well to living here. She had a sad day this morning missing her mom and dad, but we cuddled and talked about it and she seemed to feel a little better. I met with her new social worker today to see what the plans were for her. Right now they are going to start services for her dad to help him develop the skills to take care of her independently. I guess they also have 2 family members that they are still looking at as possibilities. One lives out of state and one isn't returning calls, so I guess we will see what happens. But for now we are perfectly happy to have her living with us.

She is starting to say please independently, but still doesn't say any hellos, goodbyes or thank yous but we are working on it. She is getting used to the routine around here, although she still hates baths and generally cries at some point during them. She has stated playing little jokes though, giving us a little push or dropping something and then looking at us like "now what are you going to do," with a little smile. She loves to play outside and seems to be enjoying her new daycare. She still adores Bug and grandma and is getting more comfortable with both Don and I.
Her hardest time are falling asleep at night and getting up in the morning, she is an early riser and is usually up when Don's alarm goes off at 6am. She always asks for me when she sees him and sometimes she lays back down and even occasionally falls back asleep, but gets back up again as soon as she hears me walking around. Then she comes and hangs out with me until Bug gets up and they start their day.

Trip to the Pumpkin Patch

Here are some pictures of the kids from our trip to the pumpkin patch last Friday. There was no school that day due to teacher in service so Bug got to have one of the older school kids from MOMS club to hang out with for part of it. We went to a local farm that has a huge corn maze with a castle in the middle. We actually made it to the middle without cheating for the 1st time. The kids had a good time on their quest. After the maze we went and rode on these big pedal cars, they look like go carts only you pedal them. Then the kids went on the little train ride and then we went on the big rain ride all together. And finished the day off by finding some nice little pumpkins for all of us.

A full week with Ashley

Ashley on her 1st morning here, no smiles for the camera.

Today is the mark for our 1st full week with Ashley, it has been a good week. She is slowly coming out of her shell and showing us more of her personality. I had to work at the JBF sale, on Thur - Sun, so she got to spend a lot of time with other people, but has still adjusted fairly well.

Ashley "helping" Bug with his piano lessons on her 3rd day here.

On Thursday she was watched by my mom, she calls her grandma and already is very attached to her. We figured this out on Wed, the 1st 2 times she met her, she didn't really say much. Then on Wed morning when she came upstairs to leave for work, Ashley went running for her saying "gwama". She has adored her every since and she and grandma and Bug had a great time together on Thur.

Ashley taking a nap on her 4th day here, she apparently read herself to sleep.

She went and stayed with my friend Meegan and her 3 little ones on Friday, she seemed to do well and didn't fuss when I left, she ended up making fast friends with Meegan's little girl. In the evening she went with Don and Uncle Martin to Bug's football practice. She had fun running around and watching the boys play.

On Saturday she had a really hard morning, she tends to get up in the night and got up several times, Friday night. Then she woke up very early on Sat. I had to work that morning, so Don got to deal with a cranky little girl. In the morning, she was hiding from him and being really quiet, but did better after he took her outside to play. Then at football, she had a meltdown, so Uncle Martin ran her around to play and chipper her up. By the time I got there she was in a fairly good mood, but easily frustrated. So when we got home I put her straight down to nap, but by then she was so tired she wouldn't go to sleep. By the time she finally fell asleep. I headed out to go check out the 1/2 price presale at the JBF sale. I got Ashley a ton of clothes throughout the sale, hopefully she stays with us at least through the winter or Don will be extra mad about the money I spent.


Our 1st family picture a little blurry but still cute.

After the sale I went and met Don and the kids at Shogun's, I was a little concerned about Ashley's food pickyness, but knew she liked steak. Turns out she also LOVES fried rice, I think we even snuck a few veggies in while she was eating the rice, though she was as careful as she could be to pick around them. The dinner was a blast, and the fire and show were both fascinating and a little alarming to her, though she seemed to enjoy it overall. At the end of dinner Bug went and told the staff that it was Daddy's birthday, so they came and dressed him up, sang to him and took our picture. It was a fun family night out.

On Sunday, I took her to Church with Bug and I. She had a really good time in class, she really seems to enjoy playing with other kids. Of coarse everybody thought she was just adorable. We left after the 1st service so as not to overwhelm her, plus I had to work at JBF in the afternoon. When we got home we had some lunch and relaxed for awhile, then I headed out to work. Don put the kids to bed at the end of the day and she took quite awhile to fall asleep, but was out by the time I got home at 9:30 or so.

Ashley with Bug and Don at Don's birthday, full of smiles for the camera.

Today we had another very busy day, Bug had a dentist appt this morning, pretty good overall and no cavities. He also got his sealants put on since his 6 year molars are finally in. Ashley was just fascinated by watching what the assistant was doing to him. It was good for her to watch since she has her own appt with the dentist in Oct. and hasn't been to see one since she was around 1. Also she does not like having her teeth cleaned. She has obviously been allowed to brush her own teeth, without any adult interference, and freaks out when you try to give her teeth a good brushing. She lets me get in and move the brush around a little, but won't let me touch the front sides of any of them.

After the dentist our MOMS club had an open house today at a local ice cream parlor, needless to say Ashley was very excited about getting ice cream. She is not liking her somewhat restricted diet and all the new veggies that are popping up on her plate, so ice cream was a real treat. After running to Costco, we headed home for nap time and Bug's school work. When Ashley got up we went to her WIC appt and ended up just picking up her vouchers, the real appt will be next month. Then we ran downtown for an audition for Bug, it is for a print ad for Brooks shoes, they are shooting it on Thur and Fri, so we should know fairly quickly if he gets it or not. Cross your fingers for him. Then we took him to his theater class and ran to the store, then over to a play place for awhile, where she got to play with a little girl and her brother.

Tomorrow, we will be at home most of the day, and she will be off for a visit with her dad in the morning.

Catching up with Bug

As you can see from our other posts it has been a big week for the family. But I thought I should catch up with what is going on in Bug's life. He is in 2nd grade this year, still being schooled at home, but now goes to school 1 1/2 days a week, a regular day on Wed and and an enrichment day on Fridays. He is really enjoying his away school this year and came home from his 1st day saying I love school (but finished that by saying he wouldn't want to go every day.)

Homeschooling seems to be going better this year, whether that is because he is getting older or because I am attempting to be more organized this year I am not sure. We also changed our curriculum this year and we both seem to really enjoy this new one. I have also started putting all of his work for the day in folders labeled Sun-Sat. Then at school time he goes down and finds that day's folder and starts to work, then when the folder is empty he is done with school for the day. Also we added school to his chore chart, and that gives him a visual reminder to get it done, so he can earn his afternoon ticket.

Overall this has been working especially well, although on Mon he decided to get snotty and tell me he wasn't going to do his schooling, so I let it go. Then that evening I moved all of his work for Mon and put it in with all of his Tue work, so when he went down on Tue, he said "gosh there's a lot of work in here." So I asked him what did he think would happen to his Monday work when he chose not to do it and he said "move to today?" And I told him "YEP," I think he got the point. He didn't fuss too much about it and although it took him most of the day to get it all done he did make his way through all of it and got all caught up.

He has made some new friends at school and also has been spending time with some friends from MOMS club that just started homeschooling this year, he went to a class at the local children's museum with them last week and they are being kind enough to take him with them again this week, so he doesn't have to hang out ALL day with grandma and Ashley tomorrow.

He is adjusting some what to having Ashley in the house. Although the whole social experiment of having a sister is already Kaput. He has figured out that she is unable to play with him 'exactly' the way that he wants to play and her following him and constant questions are starting to wear on him. He has taken to hiding in his room, to play 'alone'. When we went to pick him up at school today and I asked him to let Ashley play out on the field with him, he refused and had to be told by one of his friends to "let his sister play too".

He does enjoy playing with her when he feels like it and likes to read her stories, which is beyond cute to watch. He has always been one to micromanage things when you try to play with him (I'm sure that is the only child coming out in him). There have been plenty of times where I have stopped playing with him because he is yelling at me, because I haven't said something or done something exactly the way he has told me to.

I think as time goes on he will enjoy the companionship more and learn to be more flexible in how he plays. She really likes him already and is constantly asking about his whereabouts. She is quiet in nature and not overly demanding and I am sure he will warm up to that as time goes by.

We have had only one big incident so far and that was this evening, up till now he just goes off to his room to play and closes the door and she wanders around until he comes back out to play with her. But tonight he was playing in his room and she was helping me with dinner, so when dinner was done I sent her to tell him. So she went to his room and knocked like we are teaching her and he opened the door and I heard her say dinner and he yelled "I'm not playing with you and slammed the door on her." Don went back and told him he could just go to bed if he was going to be so rude and we ate dinner without him. After dinner Don went and talked to him and he came out and apologized and had some dinner.

After he was done eating I took him to my room and talked to him about his behavior. I reminded him that we had decided as a family to invite Ashley to live with us. We talked about the fact that she had no family to take care of her and how would he feel if the situation was reversed and he had to live with a bunch of strangers. Hopefully it will give him some food for thought. He put himself to bed early tonight, though he did read Ashley a story before bed.

Day 3 with Ashley

This morning Ashley had her OT assessment, which she passed with no problems, she scored a 38% which is a smidge low, but well withing normal limits. I wasn't too concerned about her after just observing her the last couple days, she colors well and can put the top clip on her car seat together and a couple other things that seemed right on task.

After that we went to my friend Brenda's house to do her and her husbands massages. She was very quiet and well behaved while we were there, she loves to pet Brenda's cat and see her fish. After that we grabbed a bite to eat and took it home for lunch, then I laid her down for a nap, the next door neighbor kept an eye on her while I ran to work to do a massage. When i got back she woke up and we went up to Bug's school to pick him up. It was fun at school taking her around and introducing her to everybody. Of course everybody thinks she's adorable, she just kept looking at everybody like "who are these people and why do they keep talking to me."

Shortly after we got home, her social worker came over to give us her paperwork and ask us a few questions and see her room. It was nice to get a little more info from her about Ashley's background and family history. Also they have a court date this Friday for her to change her status from voluntary placement to mandatory and we should get an idea of where this will go from here at that time. Depending on how the court date goes.

After that Don got home and I started dinner with Ashley's constant chatter to help me out, we had fajitas for dinner, she is a good eater, but made sure to eat around any veggies that might be hiding in there. Then she went and had Bug read her a story while I got the kitchen cleaned up and then the kids brushed their teeth together and then we showed her how I finish up on Bug's teeth. She did much better letting me brush her teeth today then she did yesterday. She didn't allow me much access but at least she didn't scream, cry and cover her mouth, that is great progress in just one day. After that we did jammies and a book and she laid down. It still took her at least an hour to fall asleep, but there was no fussing or crying this evening. She just quietly talked and only got up to play with the door a few times and is now out cold as you can see by this picture.

PS. For all those who have asked Ashley is 2 and will be 3 at the end of November.

Days 2 with Ashley

Today was a pretty mellow day around here. Ashley slept through the night, although she must have woken up at some point because we closed her door completely after she fell asleep and when I got up at 6:30 it was open but she was still in bed sleeping. She is an early riser and gets up around 7 and comes out to hang out with me. We gave her a bath for the 1st time which I had been warned was something she did not like. It went much better than I thought it would. No high pitched screaming or kicking or anything, she didn't want to sit down in the bathtub and would whine when I poured the water on her. But overall she did really well.

When I got her out of the bath and dried her off I slathered her up with lotion since she seems to have a touch of eczema. Then we got on her diaper, (she is not potty trained yet) and got dressed. She even let me put her hair in 2 little piggie tails, very cute. We had a bit of confusion with getting dressed, since she wanted to pick something out of her jammie drawer instead of getting clothes out of the closet, but we got it worked out.

She had a visit with her dad today from 10-12 (she goes on Tue & Thur) and came back in a fairly good mood. Unfortunately when I asked if she had been fed lunch they said no, but she had been given cookies and crackers and juice. I can tell that is going to be a difficulty, since she has been fed on mac n cheese and chicken nuggets for most of her life. We are trying to work really hard to get her used to a better more healthy diet.

Anyways after a good lunch I put her down for a nap, she sleeps for about an hour and a half. After nap she got up to play and hang out downstairs while Bug finished up with his schooling. I had to head to work for a bit in the evening so uncle Martin watched the kids for a little bit between when I left and when Don got home. After work Don headed to the fire dept so I made pancakes and eggs for me and the kids. Ashley is very interested in cooking and constantly asks me questions about everything I do and then repeats the last few words of anything I say. She seemed very excited about me making eggs, but when dinner came she ate the pancake and wouldn't touch the egg, when I suggested she eat one bite, it was not a pretty sight. I tried sneaking a bite into her mouth and she grabbed it out of her mouth and wiped her tongue off again and again, saying "don't like, don't like." Oh well I guess we will just have to go with the exposure method, if the food is on her plate enough times eventually she may try some. (BTW she also reacted the same way the night before when I suggested she try some veggies, though i didn't sneak any in on her that time.

After dinner the kids played for a bit and then I got Ashley ready for bed, she takes quite awhile to fall asleep, I don't know if that is just the usual for her, or if she normally had a late bedtime, or if I am missing something in her normal bedtime routine, (ie. music, a particular stuffed animal, fan or white noise, etc). She is fairly quiet about it and if she gets up and peeks out the door I just tell her it's bedtime and she goes and lays back down. She cried for a minute or less this evening for daddy, but I think it was just because she had seen him today and after I went in and reminded her it was bedtime, she quited down and eventually fell asleep.